This is a story I submitted for Big Finish's SHORT TRIPS series last year. It didn't make the cut (obviously), so I thought I'd upload it in segments here with some illustrations to accompanty it, a la the old Doctor Who annuals.
PART ONE HERE: [link]
Evelyn saw what looked like a laser gun sitting amongst Danziger's clutter of desk toys. She snatched it up and pointed it at his chest.
"That's a game controller, Evelyn." the Doctor said, not looking away from the mess of wires in his hands.
"Well..." Evelyn stammered, throwing the gun back to Danziger. "Just sit down and SHUT UP, then!"
Danziger slumped back and rubbed his eyes like he had a migraine. "Man, this is such a bummer."
The computer suddenly made an ominous popping noise, causing everyone, even the Doctor, to jump. He looked in horror at what looked like an instant message flashing on the computer's large screen: TH: WTC? STEP BACK N00B!
"Teh Haxxorpwn," The Doctor gasped. "I should have known!"
Evelyn blinked. "The-"
"Teh," the Doctor corrected, diving desperately back into whatever he was doing with the wires.
"Mmm. A very unpleasant species from the Crab Nebula. Not particularly violent- in fact downright cowardly when you confront them head-on. So they take out potentially competitive civilizations, or "noobs" as they call them, by insinuating themselves into any forms of interactive media they can hack into and dumbing down the culture. They usually attack around the time races develop online gaming- though I've always had a pet theory they might call into the occasional radio talk show..."
The computer "popped" again... TH: HAXXORPWN R TEH ROXXORZ! BTCO!
"That language- shouldn't the TARDIS be translating it?" Evelyn asked.
The Doctor took a moment from peeling a wire casing with his teeth. "Well... she does her best to. It's not easy filtering that much inconsistent spelling, profanity, and emoticons."
"The TARDIS has a profanity filter?!" TH: STCU!
Evelyn nodded at the screen. "What's that!"
"Shut The Cruk Up." the Doctor said, a bit embarrassed. He looked over at Danziger.
"Let me guess- Teh Haxxorpwn are the brains behind Brain2. They gave you the blueprints for it. And they're the moderators for Touchstone. All you had to do was take the credit."
Danziger threw his hand up, rolling his eyes. "Okay, okay- busted."
A new buzzing sound emitted from the computer- something like an alarm. The screen flashed red: TH: DIE N00BS!
The Doctor frantically ripped off another access panel. "It's a kill-signal- they're crashing the network. The whole world will be plunged into helpless stupidity! There's only one thing to do-"
His fingers pounded the keyboard like jackhammers-Evelyn worried for a moment he might break it. Finally he dropped back to his knees and grabbed a wire from each of the two access panels, trying to tug them together. He found to his dismay that they couldn't quite reach...
"I really must rebuild that sonic screwdriver," he said, pinching one exposed wire with one hand...
And then did the same for the other.
The surge knocked him unconscious before the screen exploded, but Evelyn told him later that it was rather spectacular. NEXT PAGE HERE: [link]