This is a story I submitted for Big Finish's SHORT TRIPS series last year. It didn't make the cut (obviously), so I thought I'd upload it in segments here with some illustrations to accompanty it, a la the old Doctor Who annuals.
PART ONE HERE: [link]
ALL YOUR PLANET ARE BELONG TO US
The TARDIS landed minutes later- materializing with its back directly in front of two massive glass doors. Evelyn stormed out but stopped with a surprised peep. She appeared to be standing on thin air. They were in a building made almost completely of glass, maybe three-hundred floors up. Thousands of office workers stared at her and the Doctor from above and below. She was suddenly very glad she chose to wear slacks that morning.
The clopping sound of plastic slippers on glass snapped Evelyn back to her immediate surroundings. They were in a spacious executive office with a beautiful view of Seattle stretching to their right. A scruffy-looking man in his 30s, dressed in Bermuda shorts and a bathrobe, walked toward them with a comical shrug.
Evelyn's brow crinkled at the unprecedented abbreviation. "W-T-C?"
"I'll explain later." the Doctor said, shutting the TARDIS door. "Evelyn, this is Axel Danziger- CEO of Brain2 LLC."
Danziger threw up a hand at the TARDIS. "OMCG, get that outta here, yo!"
Evelyn stared him down with a look more suited to a kindergarten teacher than a college professor. "You have a lot to answer for, young man."
Danziger backed up slightly before remembering himself. "Hey man, I got a whole army of ex-Navy SEALS out there- and they're gonna WTC PWN yer butts!"
Everyone turned their heads toward a disorderly rattling noise. It was coming from the two giant doors the TARDIS was parked against, where a platoon of black-armored security guards were making a confused and futile attempt to push them open from the other side.
"Oh." Danziger muttered.
Evelyn turned back to him, and he instinctively plopped into his swivel-chair like he'd just heard the class bell. She jutted an accusatory finger at him.
You've turned an entire generation into knowledgeable idiots."
"Intelligence isn't about knowing facts- it's how you evaluate them. It was bad enough in my day with Wikipedia- twenty papers every term with the same conclusions from the same footnotes! But-" She barely managed to stay calm, minding her heart condition. "You've turned learning into mindless, homogenized, incestuous trainspotting... and the entire human race into- into- a string of sausages!"
Danziger gawked at her with his mouth open, bewildered. Evelyn fell into an embarrassed silence and turned to the Doctor, hoping he'd rescue her- he was vastly more skilled with these sorts of speeches. She was annoyed to see he wasn't even listening. He was engrossed by a giant replica of the Mona Lisa hanging on a steel wall on the far end of the room.
"Doctor, would you like to join in?"
"Hmmm? Oh no, you're doing fine," the Doctor said, waving a dismissive hand over his shoulder. "I'm more interested in this."
"Uh... why?" Danziger said, sitting up a bit.
"An entire building made of glass, and you hang one picture against the one area that isn't transparent." The Doctor hooked his fingers under the edge of the frame and pulled. The painting swung away to reveal a large computer bank that looked indisputably alien and out of place. Danziger looked very nervous.
Evelyn shook her head. "That... might be the most appallingly cliched thing I've ever seen."
The Doctor nodded sideways at Danziger. "Told you it was a naff era." He ripped off an access panel and started shoving wires aside.
Danziger jumped up. "Whoa-whoa- hey, don't touch that!" NEXT PAGE HERE: [link]